Today I will be chatting with Nicole Ivens from ‘A Little Help From Above’. I have known Nicole now for a number of years and I have always admired her strength and determination.
Nicole is a mother of two gorgeous girls, Gabby (14) and Grace (12) and wife to her husband Alex. This lovely family is now located on the Gold Coast, Queensland after re-locating from Canberra in 2009.
Hi Nicole! I am super excited to have our chat today, could you start by introducing yourself.
Hi Amanda! Thank you so much for having me! I am really happy to be chatting with you today. As you mentioned my name is Nicole and I am an Intuitive Coach at A Little Help From Above.
Anxiety has played a huge role in your life. Can you tell us more about your experience and what tools you have found helpful in managing your anxiety?
At age of 17 when I finished school, I started to suffer from panic attacks which paralysed me and meant I was unable to do the things most 17 year olds were doing, like exploring the world and starting their career. Back then Anxiety really wasn’t understood, so I felt quite alone and ostracised. At the time my tool for managing my anxiety was to stop doing whatever it was that was causing my anxiety, as you can imagine, this meant my life was put on hold.
It wasn’t until I met an amazing psychologist and she alerted me to the fact that I wasn’t breathing properly, my breathing was always very shallow that caused my anxiety to be worse. She also taught me the tool of riding the anxiety wave, allowing it to build and then letting it go. This made a big difference to the fight or flight response I was so used to and taught me I wasn’t abnormal and that a lot of people were suffering with Anxiety in silence.
You are also dealing with the havoc anxiety has played in Gabby and Grace’s lives. Can you share more about the impact that has had on the girls and the family as a whole?
The girls have been through a lot in their young lives and anxiety has been something we have had to overcome, sometimes on a daily basis. The girls have ceased doing things or not tried them at all because of their anxiety and as their mum and dad it is hard to watch them suffer at such a young age. Remembering my anxiety didn’t start till I was 17, kids these days seem to have so much more to deal with and are suffering under the pressure.
As a family we deal with each anxiety attack as a whole, my husband is our comic relief and he does so well to calm the girls and then I come in as the back up to then help the girls to understand why they are anxious and what they can do to reduce their anxiety.
How has Gabby’s epilepsy impacted her anxiety and what has she found helpful in managing it?
Gabby’s Epilepsy has made her anxiety a lot worse, the fear of the unknown with her seizures is something she struggles with. The issue is twofold really as she gets anxious about her seizures and her anxiety can cause her seizures, so it is a very fine line we have to tread in managing both conditions. We have found doing role play with her, to show her, if she has a seizure exactly what happens. This helps her as it takes away some of the unknown, which causes a lot of her fear and anxiety around her Epilepsy.
Grace has also had a tough time. Can you tell us more about Grace and what she has been through?
Grace is our beautiful and caring 12 year old, in 2014 she was rushed to hospital in a critical condition with Hyponatremia (low sodium levels) which was brought on by a bout of sickness. She had to undergo blood transfusions to increase her sodium levels and unfortunately suffered minor brain damage. She is an amazing kid and has worked so hard to overcome the challenges of having brain damage and is now thriving.
Most of us could never imagine going through the daily challenges that you and Alex do. What has helped you build resilience?
Honestly, we just had to do what needed to be done. Did our girl’s medical challenges floor us? Absolutely! However we found strength in each other, if Alex was having a rough time, I took the reins, if I was struggling, Alex would take the reins. These challenges have actually brought us closer as a family and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
On bad days we would always look for the positive, it could be something as simple as our girls giggling together or managing their care at home and not having to go to hospital. These little shining lights is what brought us through the dark times.
How do you manage your time between being a wife, mum, dealing with the girls school routines and health issues, as well as your own self care? Do you have any tips for other parents that may find themselves in a similar situation?
I have learned that my self-care has to come above all else, and I know that probably sounds a little crazy with all we have going on with the girls. However if I don’t take care of myself, the girls and Alex will suffer. I make sure and actually so does Alex that I go to the gym as my ‘me time’, this helps me to decompress and be ready to take it all on again.
We have designed our life now so I am available for the girls, I take them to school and pick them up every day and our drive home is what the girls like to call our “counselling session”, by the time we arrive home they are both calm and relaxed.
Alex and I spend our nights together watching T.V and laughing together, our favourite thing to do.
My tips for other parents going through similar struggles are:
1) Reach out and allow others to help you. They may not be able to understand but just having someone to listen to you, is all you need some days.
2) Take a little time each day just for you, find what works for you, it may be exercise, it may be having peace to read a book or have a nap.
3) Appreciate the little things
4) A big one I do, is I tell myself it is ok to “Take the Day”, some days the “to do list” can be too much. Give yourself a break!
Can you tell us more about ‘A Little Help From Above’. What inspired you to head into that line of work and how has it contributed to your self care?
A Little Help From Above came about through what we have experienced with the girls, first I needed something I could do that would allow me the flexibility to care for my girls at a moment’s notice. This experience also showed me there is something bigger out there than any of us and with my strong belief of the spiritual world, I started to open myself up and that is when I was guided to start this business to help other families that are going through similar experiences. I have recently commenced studying the Diploma of Counselling to allow me to help others in a more deep and profound way.
Working from home has allowed me to have more time for myself and model great self-care strategies for my clients.
What is the 1 word that comes to mind that represents and inspires you for 2017.
Embrace is my word for 2017, I am embracing all opportunities that come my way.
Nicole thank you so much for taking the time out to chat with me today and for sharing your story.
To find out more about Nicole and A Little Help From Above please visit the Links Below.
Website:
www.alittlehelpfromabove.com.au
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/alittlehelpfromabove/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/alittlehelpfromabove
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/nicoleivens
